In Tandem

Summary

"...a wonderful, enlightening read that correlates tandem cycling to relationships and more. Not just a must-read for cyclists, everyone will benefit from this introspective view of our interaction with significant others, ourselves, and some of the best strategies to create a successful team of two." Andy Applegate, Senior Cycling Coach
A mutual friend encourages two middle-aged counselors/coaches to meet. With histories of multiple divorces and a death, neither expects the other to be the right one, isn’t sure the other is even a reasonable next one and has a list of reasons why they are probably the wrong one.
To add complexity, they decide to ride a tandem bike with its involved mechanics and balance challenges. The tandem requires the same type of cooperation, negotiations and tolerance as the new relationship with one additional issue, the bike demands coordination and set procedures. The couple prizes independence and flexibility. If they can make the relationship work on the bike, they can probably make it work anywhere.
The story covers many of the trials of merging the lives of two middle-aged adults with lots of profound differences and insecurities into a supportive couple, and the need to not just negotiate but welcome differences when established adult lives are merged.
All their previous failed relationships laid a foundation for skepticism and doubts. Humor helps heal some of the abrasions as they bump into each other’s painful areas. Empathy for those who are a lot less than perfect is crucial glue. And a robust bridge is quickly built out of a surprising wave of passion that spans their differences until compatibility has a chance to emerge. One could read this for the sage advice on creating and healing a vibrant forgiving couple. Or to get a primer on tandem riding and building a powerful, resilient team. Alternatively, there is a wealth of descriptions on how to develop middle-age fitness without obsession. It’s full of quirky humor.