If My Mother Never Left

Summary

Step into a harrowing and deeply moving story of one man’s battle against abuse, depression, gaslighting, and homelessness.Abandoned by his mother and subjected to years of physical and sexual abuse at the hands of his uncle and stepmother, Burak Yilmaz has few fond memories of his childhood. And when his family discovers the truth about his sexuality, he’s cast onto the streets by his father and left to fend for himself.

Burak survives by doing things he never imagined–but that only sends him deeper down a self-destructive spiral. Even after he escapes to New York to rebuild his life as a fitness model and bartender, the specter of his childhood continues to haunt him. Tormented by bouts of anxiety and chronic depression, the faint glimmer of rehab offers his only hope. He may have escaped his family–but can he heal the scars left behind in its wake?

Told with poignant reflections and brought to life with vivid detail, this gripping and powerful memoir shares Burak Yilmaz’s story confronting the harsh realities of abuse, depression, gaslighting, homelessness, and being gay in Islam. Readers will discover an unforgettable glimpse into one man’s fight for survival in a world where everything is stacked against him, along with his first-hand experience of homosexuality in his profoundly religious home country of Turkey.