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I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee
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I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist

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Narrator Jully Lee

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Translator Anton Hur
Length 4 hours 41 minutes
Language English
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Bloomsbury presents I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee, read by Jully Lee.

The sequel to the internationally bestselling South Korean therapy memoir, translated by National Book Award finalist Anton Hur.

Whenever depression or emptiness came calling, I was all too eager to open the door of self-pity and go right inside.

Baek Sehee started recording her sessions with her psychiatrist because she hoped to create a guide for herself. She never imagined her reflections would reach so many people, especially young people. I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki became a runaway bestseller in South Korea, then Indonesia, the U.K., and the U.S., drawing readers with its frank and vulnerable discussions of depression and anxiety.

Healing is an uneven process. In this second book, Baek’s sessions intensify as her inner conflicts become more complex and challenging. Through her dialogues with her psychiatrist and reflective micro-essays following each session, Baek traces the patterns of her anguish, makes progress, weathers setbacks, and shares the revelatory insights that come just when she has almost given up hope.

I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki offers itself to the social media generation as a book to hold close, a friend who knows that grappling with everyday despair is part of a lifelong journey.

Born in 1990, Baek Sehee studied creative writing in university before working for five years at a publishing house. For ten years, she received psychiatric treatment for dysthymia (persistent mild depression), which became the subject of her essays, and then I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki, books one and two. Her favorite food is tteokbokki, and she lives with her rescue dog Jaram.

Anton Hur was born in Stockholm, Sweden. He is the author of No One Told Me Not To and the novel Toward Eternity. His translations include Bora Chung’s Cursed Bunny, which was shortlisted for the International Booker Prize and a finalist for the National Book Award.

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Reviews

Sehee’s admirable commitment to showing her ‘deepest inner wounds’ will resonate with readers struggling to unpack their own mental health issues. Ruminative . . . [Sehee is] especially interrogative of her own relationship to her body, confronting binary judgments . . . she’s long endured, the damage internalized as self-condemnations of being ‘insignificant, worthless.’ . . . ‘I want to keep learning about myself and finding the best user manual for my life.’ Wise advice for all Be sure to check out this sequel which is just as heartfelt, vulnerable and insightful as her first internationally acclaimed bestselling South Korean memoir. Ultimately hopeful. Through chronicling the therapeutic process, [Sehee’s] self-awareness increases, and she gains the strength to put into place the building blocks of healing . . . a reminder that even the smallest steps toward self-awareness can be a triumph. In her distinctive voice, a noted South Korean author explores the roots of her mental illness and struggles toward a healthier life . . . Baek’s journey through the dark forest of depression is sometimes painful but ultimately revelatory and inspiring. Honest and authentic throughout . . . A sincere attempt at self-discovery that will resonate with young people who suffer from similar forms of depression and anxiety Candid . . . heartfelt . . . Sehee’s mission to normalize conversation about mental illness is an admirable one. A testament to the gradual nature of therapy’s cumulative healing effects, I Want to Die should resonate with anyone who eagerly transcribes every nugget of advice they get. Earnest . . . clever . . . [Baek Sehee] uses months of (real) transcripts from her therapy sessions to explore her own depression and anxiety, always tiptoeing toward something like self-awareness. An eye-opening view into a person's most vulnerable moments in a new way. With candor and humor, Baek offers readers and herself resonant moments of empathy. For readers feeling a little icy around the edges, [Sehee’s] memoir promises to defrost. [I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki] is a therapeutic salve . . . Sehee's memoir is a connective tissue for all of us looking for a silver lining. Compelling . . . there is a fascination being inside the counseling room with [Sehee]. We feel we are a party to a sacred realm and find ourselves drawn to her testimony; mesmerized by her ability to keep thwarting herself from getting better. And we want her to get better. If you’ve ever felt exhausted and anxious by performing well-being, this is a book for you. This book will comfort anyone who’s ever been depressed, anxious, or just frustrated with themselves. Baek Sehee ingeniously combines elements of memoir and self-help . . . She offers an intimate look into one patient's experience in therapy and her own analysis of and takeaways from those sessions . . . Everyone is just trying to be as okay as possible, after all—and seeing Sehee's processing of that in I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is sure to make readers feel a little less alone in their own attempts. Expand reviews