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Shop nowWhat Have I Done?
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Weāre taking steps to make sure AI narration is transparent.
Learn moreBrought to you by Penguin.
'A book to save a whole generation of women'
Adele
'This moving book was a pleasure to read and I didn't want to put it down. If anyone is going through a similar experience it will make them feel less alone'
Philippa Perry
This is a raw and honest memoir about being devastated by post-partum psychosis and coming through the other side.
Laura Dockrill had an idyllic pregnancy and couldn't wait to meet her new baby. But as she went into labour things began to go wrong and Laura started to struggle. A traumatic birth, anxiety about the baby, sleep deprivation, a slow recovery - all these things piled up until Laura (like any new mum) felt overwhelmed.
As many as 8 out of 10 new mums struggle in the weeks after birth. In Laura's case these feelings escalated scarily quickly into post-partum psychosis. She became paranoid and delusional and had to be institutionalised for a fortnight without her baby. Throughout this time she was haunted by a sense of: 'What have I done?', at first as she wondered if she could cope with her baby, and later because she was trying to grasp at reality as she slipped into nightmarish delusion.
Laura's experience was devastating but this is a hopeful book. Not only has Laura slowly recovered she has come out the other side stronger and more assured about parenting on her own terms. Now she is determined to break the silence around post-natal mental health and with her story tell new parents: you are not alone.
*ONE OF STYLIST'S BEST NON-FICTION BOOKS FOR 2020 AND EVENING STANDARD'S BEST BOOKS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2020*
Praise for What Have I Done?
'A humblingly honest and human war report from the front lines of mothering psychosis and recovery; there is no other book like it, and it is so desperately needed'
Giovanna Fletcher
'This book will give women and their families confidence that the brain and body will heal. It will encourage other women to speak out'
Dr Jessica Heron, CEO of Action on Postpartum Psychosis
'A raw, honest, important book'
Caitlin Moran
'An amazing read. A comfort to women recovering who read this and realise that all their crazy mad thoughts were the illness; and not themselves'
Fiona Telford, postpartum psychosis survivor
Ā©Laura Dockrill 2020 (P) Penguin Audio 2020
Laura Dockrill (Author, Reader)
Laura Dockrill is an award winning author and illustrator. What Have I Done? is Laura's first book for adults. She has written thirteen books for children and young adults. She has been shortlisted for the Waterstones Book of The Year Prize, long listed for the Carnegie Medal and shortlisted for the YA Book Prize 2018. She has earned plaudits like āTop 10 literary Talentā from The Times.
Laura has appeared on a host of TV programmes; CBeebies, Blue Peter, Newsnight and BBC Breakfast to name a few. Her radio prowess spans across the entire BBC network, having performed works on Radio 1 through 6 including Womanās Hour and Open Book. She has written for the BFI, BBC Radio, Channel 4, The British Council, The Young Vic and the National Theatre.
Laura is on the advisory panel at The Ministry Of Stories, and has judged many literary prizes including the John Betjeman Poetry Prize, BBC National Short Story Prize and the BAFTA Childrenās Prize.
Laura Dockrill (Author, Reader)
Laura Dockrill is an award winning author and illustrator. What Have I Done? is Laura's first book for adults. She has written thirteen books for children and young adults. She has been shortlisted for the Waterstones Book of The Year Prize, long listed for the Carnegie Medal and shortlisted for the YA Book Prize 2018. She has earned plaudits like āTop 10 literary Talentā from The Times.
Laura has appeared on a host of TV programmes; CBeebies, Blue Peter, Newsnight and BBC Breakfast to name a few. Her radio prowess spans across the entire BBC network, having performed works on Radio 1 through 6 including Womanās Hour and Open Book. She has written for the BFI, BBC Radio, Channel 4, The British Council, The Young Vic and the National Theatre.
Laura is on the advisory panel at The Ministry Of Stories, and has judged many literary prizes including the John Betjeman Poetry Prize, BBC National Short Story Prize and the BAFTA Childrenās Prize.