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Abridged
You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again - Abridged by Heather McDonald
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You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again - Abridged

One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up

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Narrator Heather McDonald

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Length 3 hours 30 minutes
Language English
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You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do “it” until well after her friends had been deflowered.

As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, “Thank God, Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book.” Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike “putting out,” blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love — and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

“The only thing funnier than Heather's impersonation of us is . . . this book!” —Kim, Kourtney, & Khloe Kardashian

Heather McDonald is a stand-up comic, and full-time writer and story producer on E!’s top-rated show, Chelsea Lately. She appeared in the Wayans Brothers’ White Chicks and Dance Flick, was a regular on MTV’s Lyricist Lounge and had guest roles on hit television shows like Frazier, Malcolm in the Middle and Reno 911. Heather and her husband, Peter, have been married for nine years and have three children.

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Shop the sale

In celebration of Independent Bookstore Day, shop our limited-time sale on bestselling audiobooks from April 22nd-28th. Don’t miss out—purchases support your local bookstore!

Shop now
Celebrate indie bookstores with our limited-time sale! Shop the sale