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Start giftingFalling Back in Love with Being Human
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“What do you do when the world threatens your belief that all beings are worthy of love? In these brief yet powerful pages, Kai Cheng Thom, a Chinese Canadian trans-woman, writes to reclaim her love of being human, through tender, intense letters to: her former johns, J. K. Rowling, Jesus Christ, her fellow trans femmes, the 'church of social justice', compulsive caregivers, and more, each followed by a suggested action, my favorite being: Think of someone you’d like to punish….send them a book of poetry instead. ”
— Megan • Underground Books
SHORTLISTED FOR THE LEAGUE OF CANADIAN POETS PAT LOWTHER MEMORIAL AWARD
“Required reading for the untamed soul . . . reminded me how to love others and myself.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed
A transformative collection of intimate and lyrical love letters that offer a path toward compassion, forgiveness, and self-acceptance.
What happens when we imagine loving the people—and the parts of ourselves—that we do not believe are worthy of love?
Kai Cheng Thom grew up a Chinese Canadian transgender girl in a hostile world. As an activist, counselor, conflict mediator, and spiritual healer, she's always pursued the same deeply personal mission: to embrace the revolutionary belief that every human being, no matter how hateful or horrible, is intrinsically sacred.
But then Kai Cheng found herself in a crisis of faith, overwhelmed by the violence with which people treated one another, and barely clinging to the values and dreams she'd built her life around: justice, hope, love, and healing. Rather than succumb to despair and cynicism, she gathered all her rage and grief and took one last leap of faith: she wrote. She wrote letters that were prayers, or maybe poems, or perhaps magic spells. She wrote to the outcasts and runaways she calls her kin. She wrote to flawed but nonetheless lovable men, to people with good intentions who harm their own, to racists and transphobes seemingly beyond saving. What emerged was a blueprint for falling back in love with being human.
KAI CHENG THOM is a writer, performance artist, and community healer. She is the author of the novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars, which was chosen by Emma Watson for her online feminist book club and shortlisted for the Lambda Literary Award. Her poetry collection a place called No Homeland was an American Library Association Stonewall Honor Book, and her essay collection, I Hope We Choose Love, received a Publishing Triangle Award. She writes the advice column “Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse” for Xtra.
KAI CHENG THOM is a writer, performance artist, and community healer. She is the author of the novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars, which was chosen by Emma Watson for her online feminist book club and shortlisted for the Lambda Literary Award. Her poetry collection a place called No Homeland was an American Library Association Stonewall Honor Book, and her essay collection, I Hope We Choose Love, received a Publishing Triangle Award. She writes the advice column “Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse” for Xtra.
Reviews
NATIONAL BESTSELLERSHORTLISTED FOR THE LEAGUE OF CANADIAN POETS PAT LOWTHER MEMORIAL AWARD
“[An] intimate expression of self-acceptance and forgiveness, tenderly written to fellow trans women and others.”
—The New York Times
“Required reading for the untamed soul . . . In these tender and revolutionary poems and prompts, Kai Cheng Thom promises that there is no part of ourselves beyond saving. The collection reminded me how to love others and myself.”
—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed
“Heartrending . . . Thom's unvarnished honesty and earnestness immediately draws readers in. . . . This fierce and tender volume leaves a mark.”
—Publishers Weekly, starred review
“Kai Cheng Thom embodies revolutionary love. She shows us how to love others bravely, even those hostile to us, as a way to heal our own tender hearts. Her poems are vivid love letters, confrontations, invitations. This tiny collection contains all the wounds and caresses in the world.”
—Valarie Kaur, author of See No Stranger
“[This is] a gentle and radical book that’s ultimately loving and inclusive of all the nuances and contradictions of the world. At a time when it can be hard to love humanity, this book offers compassion for where we are and dreams for where we could be.”
—Shondaland
“Kai Cheng Thom’s new collection is a tender incantation against the failures of hope. In these letters, Thom reaches toward lost souls of all kinds: outlaws, movement martyrs, fellow trans femmes of color, and ‘the ones this world was never made for,’ to whom she sends poems that read like prayers, rituals to lay down our collective hurts. What is most astonishing, however, is the way Thom refuses to turn away from those who have inflicted harm, writing: ‘the world i dream of is big enough for both of us.’ I am grateful for these spells and balms, for the worlds of generosity this book dares into being.”
—Franny Choi, author of The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On Expand reviews