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Sign up todayYou Lied to Me About God
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"An intimate and important memoir of deconstructing and reconstructing faith after abuse ... a spiritual memoir that does not shy away from abuse, queerness, or the multifaceted character of God." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
A courageous, vulnerable, and spellbinding memoir that explores with visceral impact what happens when harm starts at home—and is exalted as God’s will
For readers of Unfollow and Jesus Land: Jamie Marich explores spiritual abuse, intergenerational trauma, and weaponized faith
At nine years old, Jamie Marich asked God to end it all.
Doing it herself would be an irrevocable sin: an affront to the church and her father’s God. She prayed instead for the rapture, an accident, a passive death—anything to stop the turmoil of feeling wrong: wrong in her body; wrong in her desires; wrong in her faith in a merciful God that could love her wholly as she was.
You Lied to Me About God explores the schisms that erupt when faith is weaponized, when abuse collides with the push-and-pull of a mixed religious upbringing tyhat tells you: no matter which path you choose—no matter what you know in your heart to be true—you’re probably damned.
With resilience, strength, and gut-punching clarity, Marich takes readers through a tumultuous coming-of-age marked by addiction, escapism, spiritual manipulation, misogyny, and abuse. She shares with unflinching detail the complicity of her mother’s silence and the lengths her father went to assert dominance and control over her body, her desires, her identity—and even her eternal soul—”for her own good” and with a side of televangelistic hellfire.
Hitting a breaking point, Marich embarks on pilgrimage: from shrines in Croatia to ashrams in Florida, she reckons with what it means to come home to a faith that heals and accepts her wholly as she is: in her queerness, in her body, and in her deep relationship to an expansive and loving God.
Reviews
"An intimate and important memoir of deconstructing and reconstructing faith after abuse."—Kirkus, starred review"Dr. Marich takes us on the pages of her own journey ... encouraging us to embrace our own stories in the hopes of finding the healing that we deserve."
—ALYSON STONER, mental health advocate, actor, and founder of Movement Genius
"Dr. Marich reflects the truth that 'everything belongs.'"
—CHRISTINE VALTERS PAINTNER, PhD, REACE, OblSB, author and online abbess at Abbey of the Arts
"A testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a courageous invitation to ... tell and live our truth."
—DR. MARK KARRIS, author of The Diabolical Trinity
"This is not only about finding freedom from religious indoctrination, but about the healing power of the family you create—the one that teaches you that you are enough just as you are."
—ERICA HORNTHAL, LCPC, BC-DMT, author of Body Aware
"A true work of womanist liberation theology."
—LILY BURANA, author of Grace for Amateurs
"This is holy ground."
—MIHAEL SEČEN, host of the Priceless podcast, powered by the European Forum of LGBTI+ Christian Groups
"Marich’s vulnerability comes through as they share stories of love, loss, faith and finding their voice ...."—STEPHANIE WARREN, The Exvangelical Xennial
"This book helped me name my experience, and that naming will lead to healing and recovery."—J. AARON SANDERS, award-winning author and filmmaker
"An incredibly brave and honest memoir of growing up as a highly sensitive, queer child in a mixed Catholic and Evangelical household."
—EMELY RUMBLE, LCSW, founder of Literapy_NYC and Bibliotherapy in the Bronx
"I highly recommend this book to therapists, pastoral counselors, clergy, and anyone struggling to heal their relationship to their spiritual self and history."
—SUSAN PEASE BANITT, LCSW, author of The Trauma Tool Kit
"This is not a condemnation of faith or of any religion. This is the story of a faith that has been tested in fire and turned into something deeper and more meaningful by the journey."
—REV. JOHN MICHAEL THORNTON, cofounder of The Great Conjunction Spiritual Center
"An invitation to dance with your own spiritual development...."
—JULIANE TAYLOR SHORE, LMFT, author of Setting Boundaries that Stick
"Jamie offers personal anecdotes which highlight more universal patterns of spiritual abuse."—KAYLA FELTEN, LICSW, cofounder of Reclamation Collective
"A testament to resilience and self-discovery, inspiring readers to find their true selves and embrace the transformative power of authenticity.”
—ROTEM BRAYER, LPC, founder of the EMDR Learning Community and author of The Art and Science of EMDR
"A must-read for survivors of spiritual abuse and those living with dissociative identities."
—DYLAN CRUMPLER, award-winning director of Petals of a Rose
"The kind of clinical voice we need to hear more of ... especially in the psychotherapeutic field of dissociation."
—KATIE KEECH, MFT, Sister Freda Desire of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Expand reviews
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