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Sign up todayLiving with Our Dead
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Learn moreA MAJOR INTERNATIONAL BEST-SELLER
A timely, powerful reflection on our relationship to death and an invitation to accept loss and vulnerability as essential and enriching parts of life, from France’s most prominent female rabbi and a leading intellectual.
The New York Times describes Delphine Horvilleur as “the rare intellectual to bring religious texts into the public square,” and, as one of only five female rabbis in France, unique in that she “calls for a plurality of religious voices in interpreting holy texts.”
Living with Our Dead is a profoundly humanist, universal, and hopeful book that celebrates life, love, memory, and the power of storytelling to inspire and sustain us.
In this moving book by the leader of France’s Liberal Jewish Movement, Delphine Horvilleur recounts eleven stories of loss, mourning, and consolation, collected during the years she has spent caring for the dying and their loved ones.
From Elsa Cayat, the psychologist and Charlie Hebdo columnist killed in the 2015 terrorist attack, to Simone Veil and Marceline Loridan, “the girls of Birkenau”; from Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, assassinated in 1995, to Myriam, a New Yorker obsessed with planning her own funeral, to the author friend’s Ariane and her struggle with terminal illness. In telling these stories and her own relationship to them, Horvilleur addresses death and dying with intelligence, humor, and compassion. Rejecting the contemporary tendency to banish death from our thoughts and discourse, she encourages us to embrace its presence as a fundamental part of life.
Delphine Horvilleur is one of the few female Rabbis in France. She was ordained in America, as there was no possibility to study in France as a woman, and is the leader of the Liberal Jewish Movement of France. Her writings have appeared in the Washington Post and Haaretz. She lives in Paris.
Lisa Appignanesi is the author of several critically acclaimed and prizewinning books on the history of madness and mind-doctoring, most recently Everyday Madness: On Grief, Anger, Loss and Love. She has written for the New York Review of Books, the Guardian, and the Observer. She is a former President of English PEN, chair of the Freud Museum, London, and the Royal Society of Literature.
Reviews
WINNER OF THE 2021 BABELIO PRIZE FOR NON-FICTION
“This is peak Horvilleur—impassioned, broad-minded, persuasive, funny, and unwilling to simplify for ease of use.”—Tablet Magazine
“Living with Our Dead is only 151 pages, but that number belies its wisdom and depth. Horvilleur’s work speaks to everyone, not just rabbis. Her writing is clear and, although her point of view is that of a rabbi, she also fulfils her aim as a storyteller, offering her readers a new way to view the world of death and dying. Living with Our Dead comes highly recommended for those who have mourned and those fortunate enough to not yet be touched by death.”—Rabbi Rachel Esserman, The Reporter
“These frank, humane essays are rooted in Jewish history and theology yet capture universal truths.”—Shelf Awareness
“Horvilleur, one of France’s only female rabbis and most certainly of the liberal ilk, provides questions rather than answers as a means to help us cope with the foreverness of dying....Leaning heavily on a spiritual secularism, she makes room for the unknown.”—Winnipeg Free Press
“Profound...Readers will find Living with our Dead full of pragmatic insights and moments they will recognize well from their experiences as mourners and comforters alike.”—Jewish Book Council
“Horvilleur shows how it is possible to find language even for that which seems indescribable. Her deep reflections on mortality remind us that ‘in death a place can be left for the living.’”—Kirkus Reviews
“Horvilleur so beautifully gives life to her dead that readers will feel they had known them personally...What better way to show the Hebrew relationship with death than to tell the stories and celebrate the lives of those who have passed?”—Library Journal
“Horvilleur has written an elegantly slim and majestically poetic book...in writing about death, she writes about the will to life as well.”—Religious News Service
“The book is a collection of related reflections rather than a systematic argument, and I appreciate the modesty of what it sets out to do.”—Jewish News of Northern California
“Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful and impressive books not only of the last year but of recent years.”—ABC (Spain)
“A radiant book that, without sentimentality, invites us to celebrate life.”—Le Monde
“Luminous.”—Infobae (Spain)
“One of today’s most original voices of contemporary European Judaism.”—Avvenire (Italy)
“A hymn to the healing power of storytelling and the written word.”—Le Figaro
“Moving…Delphine Horvilleur finds the right words to describe our time and its ghosts.”—ELLE Magazine (France)
“The French intellectual...presents a non-male perspective we need in mainstream Jewish literature."—Heyalma
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