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I'd Rather Burn Than Bloom by Shannon C. F. Rogers
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I'd Rather Burn Than Bloom

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Narrator Jensen Olaya

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Length 8 hours 26 minutes
Language English
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Packed with voice, I’d Rather Burn than Bloom is a powerful young adult novel about a Filipina-American teen who tries to figure out who she really is in the wake of her mother’s death.

Some girls call their mother their best friend. Marisol Martin? She could never relate. She and her mom were forever locked in an argument with no beginning and no end. Clothes, church, boys, no matter the topic, Marisol always felt like there was an unbridgeable gap between them that they were perpetually shouting across, one that she longed to close.

But when her mother dies suddenly, Marisol is left with no one to fight against, haunted by all the things that she both said and didn’t say.

Her dad seems completely lost and, worse, baffled by Marisol’s attempts to connect with her mother’s memory through her Filipino culture. Her brother Bernie is retreating further and further into himself. And when Marisol sleeps with her best friend’s boyfriend—and then punches said best friend in the face—she is left alone, with nothing but a burning anger and nowhere for it to go.

And Marisol is determined to stay angry. After all, there’s a lot to be angry about: her father, her mother, the world. But as a new friendship begins to develop with someone who just might understand, Marisol reluctantly starts to open up to her and to the possibility that there’s something else on the other side of that anger—something more to who she is and who she could be.

Shannon C. F. Rogers  is a multiracial Filipinx-American writer of young adult novels, short fiction, and plays. A former editor on Lunch Ticket, she has written for Bodega magazine and Newfound Journal, and her work has appeared onstage with Tricklock Company and Lady Luck Productions. Shannon earned her BA in creative writing from the University of New Mexico and her MFA in writing for young people at Antioch University Los Angeles. She has served as an educator, an after-school program director, and a lost mitten finder at schools in Albuquerque, Chicago, and New York City. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Jensen Olaya was born in Bataan, Philippines. The city is known for the Bataan Death March during WWII, but she knows it as the land of lush rice fields and friendly people. Her family emigrated when she was four, during much political upheaval. Corazon Aquino, the first female president of the Philippines, was dealing with a divided country after the twenty-year dictatorship of Ferdinand Marcos. It was a significant moment for a young girl to witness, but fortunately, her dad's military service took them out of the turmoil. As a US military brat Jensen's lived in Bataan, Yokohama, San Diego, and New York. She will never forget the smell of jet fuel, walking along the tarmac as a kid, next to fighter planes parked on top of the USS Midway. Fun fact: Jensen grew up in the same military base and went to the same high school that Mark Hamill did in Japan. To this day, her dream role is to command a fleet of rebel intergalactic space rangers, like an unlikely hero version of a Top Gun Maverick, in a galaxy far away. Jensen studied classical singing (she's a Mezzo) and world theater at San Diego State University. Her early twenties were pivotal; her mom lost her decade-long battle with cancer right after Jensen graduated. In Jensen's last semester, she was shuffling between performances of A Midsummer Night's Dream, shuttling her mom to her doctor's appointments, and managing her medications. During this chapter, acting was the only thing Jensen had to preserve her spirit. And that's when she decided to go all in. If she had to live in a world without her mother, then she would live with the tenacity to fill her life with purpose. In 2009, she sought out a scholarship to attend Columbia University's MFA in acting program and moved to NYC. She has been a proud New York actor ever since. As a stage-trained actor, Jensen is at home working in theater as well as commercials, animated TV, and voice-over more broadly. She is proud to be helping redefine Asian American representation for audiences across young adult, sci-fi, self-development, women's fiction, and children's content. Over the last twenty years, she's played a range of characters, from sprightly and sassy to androgynous and mythical, to clumsy and badass. As a mother of two children, she's focused on narratives that prioritize racial and gender equality, antiracism, inclusivity, parent-child relationships, and finding the magic in the everyday. Projects elevating Asian American politics and showcasing the nuances of Asian family dramas are also important to her. When not acting, Jensen is teaching her kids Tagalog, and about their mixed Filipino, Swedish, Scottish, and American heritage.

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Reviews

“The representation of a Filipino experience in the United States is done with superlative skill, rendering this beautifully written debut a model for how to expertly weave culturally specific cues into a universal story. Heart-wrenching and heart-filled.”

“Insights into family dynamics, changing friendships, and biracial identity make for realistically messy and enjoyable character growth that one can’t help but empathize with.”

“A moving meditation on grief and the healing balm of forgiveness―especially self-forgiveness. I’d Rather Burn than Bloom is a light in all the dark places…A brilliant, bold debut.”

“In her smart, poignant, and tear-jerking debut, Rogers expertly navigates the light and the dark, ensuring a delicate balance of laughter and tears from her readers. An aching and urgent book about love, loss, and finding one’s place in the world."

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