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Sign up todayI’d Really Prefer Not to Be Here with You, and Other Stories
This audiobook uses AI narration.
We’re taking steps to make sure AI narration is transparent.
Learn moreBestselling author Julianna Baggott delivers her mind-bending debut short-story collection, featuring an array of genres populated by deeply human characters, and with film rights to the stories already having been sold to Netflix, Paramount, Amblin, Lionsgate, and others!
In the title story, set five minutes in the future where you not only have a credit score but also a dating score, a woman who’s been banished from all dating apps attends a weekly help group with others who have been “banned for life,” and finds herself falling in love. In “Backwards,” a twist on Benjamin Button, a woman reconnects with her estranged father as he de-ages ten years each day they spend together. In “Welcome to Oxhead,” all the parents in a gated community “shut off” when the power goes out. In “Portals,” a small town deals with hope and loss when dozens of portals suddenly open. In “How They Got In,” a grieving family starts to see a murdered girl in all of their old home videos.
This fantastical collection from a unique voice contains a myriad of stories of the weird and wonderful. Julianna Baggott is a talented and clever guide, and I’d Really Prefer Not to Be Here with You will take the reader on a journey unlike anything they’ve experienced.
Julianna Baggott is the author of numerous novels, including Pure, which was a New York Times Notable Book in 2012. Her poems have been reprinted in Best American Poetry, and her essays have appeared in the New York Times Book Review, the Washington Post, the Boston Globe, and on NPR's All Things Considered. She teaches at the College of the Holy Cross and in Florida State University's College of Motion Picture Arts.
Tavia Gilbert has recorded hundreds of titles across a wide span of genres, including Erica Spindler romantic thrillers, John Scalzi science fiction, Jeaniene Frost fantasy. She received four Audies nominations and won three Audiofile Earphones Awards for titles The Obituary Writer, Sing Them Home and The Day of the Pelican. In addition to voice acting, Gilbert is an accomplished producer, singer and theater actor.
Andi Arndt is a professional actor who specializes in narration with an emphasis on audiobooks and e-Learning. She taught acting and voice for the James Madison University School of Theatre and Dance for over a decade, and she has worked full time for WMRA hosting classical music and NPR news programming. When not behind the mic, she can be found at live music venues or planning her next travel adventure.
Kelli Tager is a classically trained actor with a master's degree in Shakespeare studies from the Shakespeare Institute in Stratford-Upon-Avon, UK. She worked in film/theater and taught children's acting for many years. Now, she only acts behind the mic in commercials, animation, and, of course, audiobooks. ("Kelli Garland" narrates anything for the young listener.) Audiobook narration is the perfect marriage between her love of literature and her love of acting.
January Lavoie has narrated the Sweet Valley Confidential series for Macmillan Audio, as well as The Snow Angel by Glenn Beck and Dreams of the Dead by Perri O’Shaughnessy.
If you've watched TV at all in the past ten years, you've definitely seen her face and heard her voice countless times in any number of wildly successful national, global, and Super Bowl commercials, as well as playing the first blond Vulcan in Star Trek history. The daughter of two English professors, Natasha Soudek was raised in the South, speaks native German, lived in Berlin and Vienna, and finally settled in the Lower East Side of New York City as a teenager. After honing her stage presence by studying acting and playing hundreds of sold-out live music shows (singing and playing bass), she moved to LA to record with Channel/DreamWorks and act on TV. Favored on KCRW, Chris Douridas compared her voice and songwriting to the Beatles' Let it Be in meaning and soulfulness . . . qualities that translate especially well into her career as an audiobook narrator. Her voice is as distinct and memorable as the range of characters she's played on-screen, which gives listeners an immediate familiarity to connect to, along with a warmth and intimacy that spans and uplifts any genre.
Emily Woo Zeller is an Earphones award-winning audiobook narrator. After beginning her voiceover career with Asian animation, she returned to the United States and began narrating a broad spectrum of audiobook genres. Her multilingual, multicultural framework brings a particularly unique, clear-eyed, and intimate perspective to the Asian American narratives she specializes in.
Kimberly M. Wetherell is a classically trained actor, award-winning filmmaker, international opera director, published essayist, and talented audiobook narrator. A native Floridian, she currently resides in New York.
Rachel L. Jacobs, an AudioFile Earphones and Parent's Choice Award-winning narrator, narrates books full-time. She has years of experience as a theater and musical theater actress, touring the West Coast (of the US) and China. She received a BA from Oberlin College's Theater Program and did intensive study with the American Conservatory Theatre, the National Theater Institute, and Shakespeare and Company. Versatile and emotive, Rachel breathes life into each of the characters and stories she reads.
Lisa Flanagan is a versatile musician, singer, and voiceover artist. She received her bachelor's and master's degree in music from Boston University. Having performed in Carnegie Hall, the Boston Symphony Hall, and the Regina Opera, she is the 2015 recipient of the Voice Arts Award for Outstanding National Promo.
Cassandra Campbell has recorded over one hundred audiobooks and directed many more. She has received eight Earphone Awards and has been nominated for an Audie Award. As an actress and director, she has worked off Broadway and in regional theaters across the country, as well as doing voice work on numerous commercials and films.
Sarah Beth Pfeifer is an NYC-based actor, singer, and narrator with a particular passion for LGBTQ+ stories and YA and an abiding love for books and reading. She appeared as Clarisse in The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical on Broadway. She has a prolific voice-over career; she's been the voice of brands like Swiffer, Gerber, Juicy Juice, and Audible.com.
Erin Bennett is an actress, a singer, and a voiceover artist. As an actress, she has performed at numerous theaters, including the Pasadena Playhouse, the Arizona Theatre Company, and the International City Theatre. Her voiceover work includes animation, BBC radio plays, video games, commercials for radio and television, and a wide range of audiobooks, including contemporary fiction, mysteries, science fiction, and romance.
Emily Lawrence is a passionate actor, voiceover artist, and writer. The narrator of almost 200 audiobooks, she has also worked in television, film, and theater. Born and raised in New York, she received her bachelor’s degree in drama from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts. While her greatest loves are narrating and acting, her other passions include traveling, aerial circus, and chocolate.
Xe Sands has more than a decade of experience bringing stories to life through narration, performance, and the visual arts. From poignant young-adult fiction to powerful first-person narratives, her characterizations are rich and expressive, and her narrations, evocative and intimate.
Reviews
“Casually fantastical, beautifully surreal, and packing an unexpected emotional punch, the stories in I’d Really Prefer Not to Be Here with You are clever and subversive and proof that, in the right hands, big ideas can come in small, perfect packages.”
“Reading this story collection is like stepping in front of a fun house mirror. At first, you see yourself, your world, and the characters as ordinary. But with one side step, your body slowly distorts into something unexpected, wicked, even silly. But vibrating underneath, somehow, Julianna Baggott’s words ground us with the familiar truths that allow us to see the ordinary as something truly extraordinary.”
“A moving fantastical collection…stacked with feats of imagination.”
“This book is a treasure chest filled with wild and wondrous tales. A gorgeous and brilliant collection!”
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