The perfect last-minute gift Shop credit bundles
Nowhere to Run by Jonathan Sayer
  Add to Wish List

Almost ready!

In order to save audiobooks to your Wish List you must be signed in to your account.

      Log in       Create account
Illustration of person opening a gift

The perfect last-minute gift

Audiobook credit bundles can be delivered instantly, given worldwide, and support local bookstores!

Start gifting
Phone showing make the switch message

Limited-time offer

Get two free audiobooks!

Nowโ€™s a great time to shop indie. When you start a new one credit per month membership supporting local bookstores with promo code SWITCH, weโ€™ll give you two bonus audiobook credits at sign-up.

Sign up today

Nowhere to Run

The ridiculous life of a semi-professional football club chairman

Unavailable due to DRM restrictions

This audiobook is not for sale because it is not DRM-free (DRM stands for Digital Rights Management). Offering audiobooks with restricted digital rights is not consistent with our values. Learn more

Narrator Jonathan Sayer

This audiobook uses AI narration.

Weโ€™re taking steps to make sure AI narration is transparent.

Learn more
Length 6 hours 7 minutes
Language English
  Add to Wish List

Almost ready!

In order to save audiobooks to your Wish List you must be signed in to your account.

      Log in       Create account

Brought to you by Penguin.

On the second oldest football pitch in the world, Jonathan Sayer stands atop a beer crate to address the assembled fans of Ashton United FC. As his initial optimism and disillusionment begin to slip through his fingers, the new co-chairman and co-owner (alongside his dad) starts to realise the scale of the challenge ahead.

Battling to keep the club afloat, a record number of games without a win sees hope turn to despair as Jonathan contends with a mutiny from a group of octogenarian supporters, constant battles with the local council and a star striker who arrives on crutches despite somehow passing his medical.

As the on-pitch form continues to deteriorate and rifts appear between him and his father, Jonathan begins to make some increasingly desperate decisions: dressing as a seven-foot robin in the local market in an effort to drum up larger crowds, sinking his savings into an ever spiralling wage bill and even contemplating bringing in a local priest to lift the 'Boxing Day Curse' by performing a late-night exorcism on the pitch.

Chronicling the euphoric highs and bitter disappointments of the less glamourous side of the beautiful game, Nowhere to Run is the hilarious, heart-warming tale of life in the hot seat of a non-league football club.

ยฉ2023 Jonathan Sayer (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Jonathan Sayer is an award-winning comedy playwright and screenwriter; he is the co-author of The Play That Goes Wrong (Henry Lewis, Henry Shields), Peter Pan Goes Wrong, The Comedy About A Bank Robbery, Groan Ups, Magic Goes Wrong (Penn & Teller), The Mind Mangler Member of The Tragic Circle and The Goes Wrong Show (BBC One- series 1&2). He is a writer, performer and Creative Director of Mischief Comedy. His work has been performed internationally in forty-nine territories including The West End and Broadway.

As a footballer Jonathan played his only competitive game for AFC Stanley Tigers U13's in the late nineties. He was brought on as a half time substitute and substituted again shortly after gifting the opposition three goals in five minutes. After his debut Accrington Stanley ended its official ties to the team and Jonathan took the decision hang up his brand new boots for good.

Jonathan Sayer is an award-winning comedy playwright and screenwriter; he is the co-author of The Play That Goes Wrong (Henry Lewis, Henry Shields), Peter Pan Goes Wrong, The Comedy About A Bank Robbery, Groan Ups, Magic Goes Wrong (Penn & Teller), The Mind Mangler Member of The Tragic Circle and The Goes Wrong Show (BBC One- series 1&2). He is a writer, performer and Creative Director of Mischief Comedy. His work has been performed internationally in forty-nine territories including The West End and Broadway.

As a footballer Jonathan played his only competitive game for AFC Stanley Tigers U13's in the late nineties. He was brought on as a half time substitute and substituted again shortly after gifting the opposition three goals in five minutes. After his debut Accrington Stanley ended its official ties to the team and Jonathan took the decision hang up his brand new boots for good.

Featured in this playlist...

Audiobook details

Author:

Narrator:
Jonathan Sayer

ISBN:
9781529907445

Length:
6 hours 7 minutes

Language:
English

Publisher:
Transworld

Publication date:

Edition:
Unabridged

Illustration of person opening a gift

The perfect last-minute gift

Audiobook credit bundles can be delivered instantly, given worldwide, and support local bookstores!

Start gifting
Phone showing make the switch message

Limited-time offer

Get two free audiobooks!

Nowโ€™s a great time to shop indie. When you start a new one credit per month membership supporting local bookstores with promo code SWITCH, weโ€™ll give you two bonus audiobook credits at sign-up.

Sign up today

Reviews

Eat your heart out, Sheikh Mansour. Best thing I've read about Ashton and I was born there. This heart-warming, genuinely funny little book is just the thing to lift the spirits. Bills, bailiffs and players locked in car boots: the life of a non-League chairman. A funny book. A glorious chronicle of memorable highs, bitter disappointments and never-ending bills. Great fun. An entertaining romp about taking over and running an established Non-League club. A funny, heartwarming story, packed with memorable characters that you'll want to cheer all the way. Ave it! Beautifully written and engaging... funny, warm and entertaining. And stupid. Really stupid. I loved it! Chronicles, in hilariously painful detail, [Jonathan's] first season in charge of Ashton. A proper fish-out-of-water tale. Expand reviews
The perfect last-minute gift Shop credit bundles