Skip content
Get two free audiobooks AND support local bookstores Make the switch
If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? by Marcy Roznick
  Send as gift   Add to Wish List

Almost ready!

In order to save audiobooks to your Wish List you must be signed in to your account.

      Log in       Create account
Phone showing make the switch message

Limited-time offer

Get two free audiobooks when you make the switch!

Now’s a great time to shop indie. When you start a new membership supporting local bookstores with promo code SWITCH, we’ll give you two bonus audiobook credits at sign-up.

Make the switch
Libro.fm app with gift bow

Gift audiobook credit bundles

You pick the number of credits, your recipient picks the audiobooks, and your local bookstore is supported by your purchase.

Start gifting

If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up?

A Parody for Adults

$2.09

Narrator Bobcat Goldthwait

This audiobook uses AI narration.

We’re taking steps to make sure AI narration is transparent.

Learn more
Length 2 minutes
Language English
  Send as gift   Add to Wish List

Almost ready!

In order to save audiobooks to your Wish List you must be signed in to your account.

      Log in       Create account

Before they Go the Fuck to Sleep, they need to Shut the Fuck Up

If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the fuck up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment's peace. What really happens when you give in to your child's tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point…while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.

Marcy Roznick is the author of If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? She and her husband live in New Jersey with their two sons, who they love even when they won’t shut the fuck up.

Phone showing make the switch message

Limited-time offer

Get two free audiobooks when you make the switch!

Now’s a great time to shop indie. When you start a new membership supporting local bookstores with promo code SWITCH, we’ll give you two bonus audiobook credits at sign-up.

Make the switch
Libro.fm app with gift bow

Gift audiobook credit bundles

You pick the number of credits, your recipient picks the audiobooks, and your local bookstore is supported by your purchase.

Start gifting

Reviews

“Finally adult themed depictions of children I can enjoy without getting my computer confiscated...again.” —Adam Carolla, comedian, father of two Expand reviews
Get two free audiobooks AND support local bookstores Make the switch