As Many Nows as I Can Get

A Seventeen Best Book of the Year
A New York Public Library Top Ten Best Book of the Year
A Kirkus Best Book of the Year

For fans of All the Bright Places, Looking for Alaska, and I'll Give You the Sun comes "a daring, inventive story about love and loss and longing, reminding us that every choice can be a new chance. A dazzling, not-to-be-missed debut." —Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces

In one impulsive moment the summer before they leave for college, overachievers Scarlett and David plunge into an irresistible swirl of romance, particle physics, and questionable decisions. Moving between the present and the past, this is the story of a grounded girl who's pulled into a lightning-strike romance with an electric-charged boy, and the enormity of the aftermath.

Scarlett and David have known each other all their lives in small-town Colorado, where David is just another mountain in the background, until, one day, he is suddenly so much more than part of the scenery. David is magnetic, spontaneous, a gravitational force. And Scarlett, pragmatic, wry, eye on the future, welcomes the pull he has on her even as she resists it. Drawn to his wild energy, to the relief she feels in throwing off the weight of everyone’s expectations, Scarlett still can’t ignore the tug of her own hopes and ambitions, while David struggles between his feelings for her, which might be deeper than either of them will admit, and his own destructive impulses.

Heartbreaking, hopeful, and unflinchingly honest, this is a deeply moving account of a girl dealing with grief and guilt, and learning to reconcile who she thinks she needs to be with the person she’s been all along. It’s an aching, transporting reminder that between the past that shapes us and the future ahead, we have only the present to forgive ourselves and forge ahead.

"Deeply authentic . . . Marvelously complex . . . Readers shouldn't miss [it]" —Kirkus (starred review)
"Mystery . . . Heartbreak . . . Hope . . . Readers will not be able to put this one down." —SLJ
"Vivid" —Seventeen.com
"You'll speed read through [it]" —PopSugar
"John Green-like, intelligent and peppered with witty repartee" —Booklist
"A story you won't forget." —Huntley Fitzpatrick, author of My Life Next Door
"Heartbreaking, exquisitely crafted" —Estelle Laure, author of This Raging Light
"A complex, compassionately written love story" —PW
"A definite purchase and must read." —VOYA